Hi Everyone!She met him on the set of the Black Swan, where he was the celebrity choreographer.
Benjamin Millepied is the Brad Pitt of the dance world, and very few people know this in the mainstream public.
The mother of his child, and bride-to-be is the former child star and darling of the Academy of Film Arts and Sciences, Hollywood, and the world.
She won Best Actress in a Motion Picture at this year’s Oscars, and many are already abuzz about the “Marriage Curse of the Oscars” – namely that it seems as soon as a woman wins in this category, the man in her life might as well be packing his bags to move out of the house, and out of the marriage.
This is of course instigated by either the dalliances of the man (Jesse James to Sandra Bullock), or by being left mangled in the dust – an average artist and average man - by the meteoric trajectory of the woman into the social and artistic stratosphere (Hilary Swank to Chad Lowe.)
There is something - actually rooted in science - to be said for the pattern here. And I’m going to show you how the fate of Natalie Portman’s budding marriage just might be the exception to the rule.
Whether it’s Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, Jon and Kate Gosselin, Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, Ryan and Reece Witherspoon, or John Mayer and any of a number of females, there is a definite common pattern:
A man has the higher rank-based artistic reputation, or the couple is of equal social status, the woman’s star rises by chance, or more often, her natural talent reaches the peak of its expression and acclaim. Soon thereafter - either by infidelity or drama-less fade-out - they part ways with the man feeling less a man, less notable, or even falling into obscurity.
None of which is to say that the woman PURPOSELY did harm to her man. Far from it if you were to quote these women in their moment of honor and glory – Sandra Bullock for example giving heaps of credit to her thought-to-be-devoted husband Jesse for supporting her at her time to shine. No, it’s just a feature of biology and gender instincts.
It just is what it is.
Males, evolutionarily have to maintain a certain “rank” among other males, and this is far from a culturally determined principle. It is actually a normal, healthy male instinct that kept the species alive for eons. Far from a “weak male ego,” or arrogance, narcissism, or a fragile sense of self, it’s simply that males instinctually measure their identity and worth, and ROLE in society on a yardstick that compares themselves to other men, and others in general.
If a primitive tribe were on the hunt for food in winter – a literal do or die mission – it did not serve them well to know or even suspect that the other members of one’s hunting team were minimally competent at shooting an arrow, throwing a spear, or using a club for that matter. It would bring down morale and spirit and a sense of hope itself that there would be meat on the table before they starved to death as a village.
If under attack by a rival tribe, it would not serve the warriors well to know that Johnny has hurt feelings because his wife has been getting too much attention back in the village by men yet to take a wife, or that because of his distraction with this, he has doubts about his prowess on the battlefield. That he doubts himself, and as a result, all the rest of the warriors will soon also doubt themselves – the strength of the campaign only as strong as its weakest warrior.
And so we males don’t even like to admit to ourselves that we can be shaken by our wife’s promotion, or the bit-too-much attention our girlfriend gets out in public, let alone to other males, and to females who could gossip about this to other males.
When these celebrities males choose mates who not only are more accomplished, but more destined to be more accomplished – more talented – and within exactly the same field no less – the clock has already started ticking its way to the divorce lawyer’s office.
Again, it’s most certainly not the woman’s “fault.” It just is what it is, and needs to be a dating consideration early on for both parties, not late into marriage.
Enter the storybook romance of Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied. If any actress of recent decades were “destined” for greatness, it was her – a film repetoire already masterfully accomplished before she turned today’s average age at first marriage.
This would seem a daunting challenge to the ego of most men in general to date such a woman, but not to a man whose field of work is both synergistic with her own, but truly noncompetitive by way of being so very different from hers.
This alone would be enough to give them a fighting chance at beating “The Marriage Curse of the Oscars.”
But there’s more. Apparently, in his own field, Millepied is considered something of a rock star himself. There is virtually no threat to the masculine instinct that needs to establish and measure itself in rank as #1 among potential suitors.
And the most deeply felt measure of a man to his own sensibilities is not in his looks or smile, or charming, romantic presence, or father abilities – every father has the potential to be “as good as” every other good father to his mind – but in career, career, career.
That’s where a man senses that he can really stand out above all other like men, and ripples over into the confidence he has in his sexual, emotional, and intellectual connection with his wife or girlfriend, and the desire, friendship and partnership they share.
The latest of the latest in Portman’s newsfeeds suggests concern that Millepied is potentially a “bad guy” for booking out career appointments a solid full two years into the future from now, and “how could he do that with a baby on the way?”
It’s exactly what he ought to be doing if he wants to maintain a solid sense of self and healthy pride upon entering a marriage with the currently most celebrated woman in the world. It’s not in self-protection or weakness - but in being an example to the first child and every one to come - of normal healthy masculine instinct, and a sophisticated navigation of gender roles in a complex world.
Natalie would not be odd to have concern about this. It’s the stuff of gossip rags and the kind of thing that would be entirely unnatural to the unconscious instincts and conscious sensibilities of any good mother and woman. But Millepied is not a woman, and men and women are not identical biological twins.
He’s a man. And her concerns will evaporate as he continues his very different art while she balances her own, alongside the “most profound role she will ever play,” to use the words of her acceptance speech. That of mother.
If they stay the course, there will be no divorce, and their children will grow safe and healthy, someday appreciating two accomplished parents, one a mother and one a father, with the instinctual recognition that a mother and father are not at all the same thing, and no more or less important than the other.
To deeply understand human courtship, and these nuances of female and male instinct, it is an easy thing to go through the Seventh Sense Program at a leisurely pace that suits you:
==> www.womenshappiness.com/seventh-sense-program
Mastering these instinctual differences is not enough to make a life, but this program brings together more than just that, adding the importance of personality compatibility too – the KWML system. In this system there are four types of males (Kings, Warriors, Magicians and Lovers) and four types of females (Queens, Warriors, Magicians, and Lovers.)
Take the free quiz at www.kwml.com or directly on Facebook at www.apps.facebook.com/kwmlpersonality.
Higher level training is at:
==> www.womenshappiness.com/kwml
To understand men at a deep level beyond the personality types and gender instincts, a woman also needs to choose a man who is mature enough to commit, and that is the stuff of MindOS Mastery at:
==> www.womenshappiness.com/mindos
And finally, to understand feminine instinct in areas other than just romance – such as career, friendship and child-rearing, consider training at Complete Feminine Empowerment at:
==> www.womenshappiness.com/complete-feminine-empowerment
Armed with these training programs, members of the women’s forums at the Meeting of the Minds membership work on the specifics: men they are concerned about, the friendships, career issues, personal growth issues and life choices that they have intuition about, but want step by step instruction at understanding, addressing, taking action and SOLVING – for once and for all.
Career will be the topic of the teleseminars at www.womenshappiness.com/forum, this week, and the next three weeks at least.
Bring your friends and join me there right away. I’m waiting for you.
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