Will & Kate's Courtship Advantage

By Tony Monterastelli, WomensHappiness.com Staff Writer
William and Kate's royal wedding offers a chance to reflect on what makes a lasting romantic relationship, in part because we all know how the LAST big royal marriage ended up.
Is anything to be learned from comparing Will and Kate to Charles and Diana?
If there's one important lesson, it resides in the seven years that Kate and William spent dating before getting married, versus just six months for Charlies and Di. By all appearances, William and Kate took the time to experience a courtship that was Real, not just Royal.
The Courtship Advantage
Courtship is an old-fashioned word to describe a crucial scientific concept in relationships. At WomensHappiness.com, we often discuss the psychological process of courtship because it is the foundation that holds together a long-term romantic relationship.
You can learn all about courtship - how to find it, how to nurture it - in the Seventh Sense Program, the only program that teaches women the exact science of courtship. Other dating programs for women are based on opinion and an incomplete understanding of that other crucial half of a relationship: men.
For example, did you know that there is one thing that men want from a woman even more than sex? We always hear over and over again that "men want one thing (sex) most of all", especially at the beginning of a relationship. Well, this is incorrect. In fact, in our biology and our psychology, there's something that men want more. Something that men will go to great lengths to get. Something that men will want to COMMIT to, and it's not just the prospect of sex. Curious about what it is? The Seventh Sense Program has the answer.
Will & Kate vs. Charles & Di
I predict that William and Kate will make a lifetime together as committed romantic partners, because of their lengthy courtship.
It's tricky to predict whether or not a celebrity couple will make it long-term. We have only stories and pictures in the media to rely on, and of course, no celebrity EVER has lied to the press or put on a false image for the cameras, right?
My view is based in part on the pressures of royalty. William and Kate's seven years of dating seems to have served them well, given the burdens of officialdom hanging over them. Can a real courtship take place in six months? Yes! But perhaps that's too much to ask in the case of young royalty.
Consider Charles & Diana. While in his twenties, Prince Charles dated a succession of women, including Diana's older sister, Sarah. By 1980 Charles was in his early thirties and under increasing pressure to marry and produce an heir to the throne. His official biographer, Jonathan Dimbleby, wrote that Charles began to date Diana during the summer and consider her as a potential bride "without any apparent surge in feeling." He proposed six months later. Diana was 19.
Charles and Diana's race to the altar cuts against William and Kate's leisurely stroll through the dating process. Kate and Will met each other while in college in 2003 and dated for seven years with one reportedly brief break-up in 2007. Charles and Diana could have used that kind of time and probably wouldn't have ended up marrying. But the problem is not the time. It's the pressure.
Courtship is Natural and Organic, not Pressurized
Courtship does not respond to pressure. With the weight of the Commonwealth on his shoulders, Charles tried to court Diana under pressure. She was too young, and he had the Queen breathing down his neck to get married. It was all too much. They needed time to relax and be themselves. Only a natural courtship process will tell whether a couple is capable of a lasting and dynamic sexual attraction, an enduring friendship, and the ability to partner with each other as mature adults.
Courtship is a real psychological process, but it is not something that we can engineer. We benefit from understanding courtship and its stages. And then, when we begin a romantic relationship, we just have to see how it goes. Most of us put pressure on ourselves in our dating lives. We set unrealistic expectations. We compare ourselves unfairly to others. We engineer our dating life using web sites and bullet-point plans. Online dating is a good tool. Knowledge is good. High standards are good. Pressure is not.
As a lad, William might have learned a sense of courtship by observing his parents' example, and then doing the opposite. It would be nice to see a high-profile celebrity couple actually have a lasting relationship. If that happens, William and Kate will look back at their long courtship as the foundation of their married life together.
On second though, they are royalty. Who knows what those people are thinking?
One thing is certain: William and Kate will be in the public eye for the rest of their lives. Only time and the courtship process will reveal their destiny as a couple.
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